Category Archives: Faith

He Sees You When You’re Sleeping…

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Oh friends, after tragedies like Oklahoma, your heart just hurts, you know. Especially when kids are involved. I know the entire tornado damage is horrible, but I just can’t stop thinking about how terrifying it must have been for those parents to converge upon those two schools and frantically look for their children. Just absolutely heartbreaking!

In light of this situation, I wanted to share something that happened to me yesterday, in hopes it would encourage some of you who feel like God has completely forgotten you. I’m not sure if I’m the only one, but I feel that way sometimes. Like God can’t see me. Or maybe He’s ignoring me. Have you felt that way?

I’ve mentioned before that the last couple months have been rather stressful for me and my family. Just seems like there is a lot going on, and to be honest, it can keep me up at night sometimes. Monday morning around 3 AM I woke up with a giant to do list twirling through my mind. I hate these nights….you want to go back to sleep so badly, but the panic of things needed to be tackled is a list mile high and it makes your heart pound. Not sure if I’m the only person who has these episodes? Anyway, at 3 AM I started feeling the overwhelming dread of “I can’t do it all” or “I really screwed this up, I didn’t do everything I needed to do” or “Oh great, I need to pay for this, where am I going to get the money?!”. Whenever I have nights like this, I usually lay there praying, or read my Bible, hoping that eventually I fall back asleep. Begging God to give me peace. Usually I am up until the kids wake up, which can make such a long day.

But on Monday morning, I feel asleep pretty quickly. I remember looking at the clock around 4:30 AM and nodding off soon after that. Thankfully, I slept pretty good regardless of the little break in my sleep. Then late Monday afternoon, I received this text from a good friend:

“Hi Amy! I just wanted to see how you were doing. I had a dream about you last night and in my dream you were feeling as if you couldn’t handle the pressures of life mentally; you were on overload. I just wanted to remind you that the Lord is with you always; and it’s ok if we can’t be Wonder Woman 24/7. Prayed for you! Love you!”

Whoa! Instant tears! I’ve had so many of these nights lately that I was beginning to think that God wasn’t watching me, didn’t notice my stress, or much less even care. But HE DOES. He cared enough to give my friend a dream about me, the same time I was stressing out, and impress her to pray for me.

I think it’s pretty clear: He sees you when you’re sleeping!

He really does know exactly where you are and what you are going through and He hears every cry that you make. He loves you enough to impress others to pray for you, and He most definitely doesn’t let you walk through life alone, even if you think He is.

I just want to encourage someone out there…you may be looking at your life and thinking, “Hello God, are you there?!?!”. You may be wondering if He’s forgotten you, or ignoring you. But just remember that He’s watching you, looking out for you, and cares for you. He hasn’t forgotten you. And is up at all hours of the night, just for you.

Praying for all involved with the tornado in Oklahoma. And praying for you all who read this. Love you! xoxo

What I Love The Most

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 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21

Matthew 6 is one of my favorite Bible passages. It is one of the passages of Scriptures I have read over, and over, and over…and over again. I am really, really bad at memorizing Scripture {like HORRIBLE at it}, but even with my horrible memory, I have read this passage so much that many portions I can quote by heart. But you know what’s crazy? Even with my love for the passage, there are times in life when I read it and it feels like I have never seen it before. Has that ever happened to you?

Last week, during our Young Mother’s Bible Study, we talked about Matthew 6, especially verses 29-21. And I got SO CONVICTED. We are using a small group Bible study found {HERE} and the lesson we were studying was called “Overwhelmed”.

OH WOW…that describes me.

You see, the last several months have been tough. I know I’ve touched on some of the frustrations several times on this blog, so this isn’t new news to you all. I have spent many days, nights and any spare moments in between “spinning” the wheels in my brain over things happening in my life. And I have been so busy working, planning, stressing, working some more….that I have to be honest and say I have been very, very overwhelmed. To the point that all I do is sit in front of my computer and work. SO NOT GOOD.

Anyway, this Bible study convicted me. And made me think.

So many exciting are in store for Evy’s Tree, and hopefully for our family as well. But sometimes exciting can also be translated as SCARY. I’m sure if you’ve ever done anything outside of your box you know what I mean. ;) However, I’m choosing to say EXCITING instead of the latter. This summer our manufactured items will arrive and I have quite a bit to do to prepare for them. There is a long, long list of things I need to do to properly sell those items.

However, I DO NOT want my long list to overshadow what I feel is the most important thing in my life…these guys:

These are the people that God placed in my life to love and nurture…to care for and to encourage. And it doesn’t matter if I make a million dollars {or lose a million for that matter, ha}…if these guys are not taken care of, then I fail. Big time. Because where my treasure is, that’s where my heart is…and I want to make sure my treasure is in the right place, you know?

So what’s the point?

I am committing to put the things that matter the most first and foremost the next couple months. This is going to be a tough balance for me since I really do have quite a long to do list before those manufactured items get here, which means there are some things I am going to have to let go. Every mom knows this is a tough balance. Letting things go sometimes means you may loose some things in the process. But more than anything, I want to do what God has called me to do…and my first calling is this family. I am sure you feel the same way. So, to me, letting some things go is paramount.

I just want to encourage all of you out there, if you are in the same spot as me…feeling overwhelmed and feeling like things are flying out of control…I want to encourage you to define what you love the most, and make sure it lines up with what God purpose is for you. And then join me in cutting some things out that may not line up with HIS plan for you. Because remember….where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Is your heart in the right place?

I want to make sure mine is. Big hugs friends. xoxo

Fear

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What a Monday yesterday was, yes friends? Days like this really make you want to curl up inside of your bed and never leave the house. Ever. My stomach is turning, and it didn’t help that when I went to the news page to read about the bombing, a banner thrown across the top of the page announced that an Earthquake has reported in Iran and Pakistan. I know this sounds crazy, but this especially makes me nervous since our house is located right on top of a fault…we do live in Earthquake country, after all. And let’s not even mention the feelings spawned by the bombing. It literally feels as if I can never leave my house as no place in this world is safe any more.

Last week, before Brandon and I left for a long weekend out of town, I wrote a blog post. It was entitled Fear. After writing it, I decided to wait to post it. Not sure why, but I just didn’t feel to hit that “publish” button. But this morning, when I woke up, I knew it was time to share it with you. I went ahead and edited some of it, but the majority of it is what I wrote last week. So, with knots in my stomach this morning, thanks to the bombings, the earthquake, and worry keeping me up at night over money, health issues, family members and other stressors….I want to give you what my thoughts were last week…with hopes that maybe it will encourage you, but most of all, with hopes it will remind me WHO is in charge and WHAT I should do with my fear.

My blog from last week:

I’m going to tell you a little story. One that I’m actually not very proud of, unfortunately.  Yet regardless, it’s a part of my life and who I am and I think it’s time to be talk about it.

I struggle with fear.

Let me explain… as a kid, I struggled so much with anxiety, especially separation anxiety. I’m speaking of the kind of fear that paralyzed you and wouldn’t allow you to speak, made you instantly nauseous, and made your mind think of all sorts of terrifying things. If you knew me as a young little girl you’re probably nodding your head right now. {ha} I never spent the night over at friend’s houses, hated scary rides at amusement parks, and movies that may have a ounce of intensity terrified me. I never wanted to leave my mom. EVER. She was my lifeline and made me feel safe all.the.time. I remember my parents liked to fly down to Mexico for week long vacations once or twice a year and I have vivid memories of me running after their car when they would drive out of the driveway. My poor parents!! hah. Now it just makes me laugh, but believe me when I say, as a kid it was no laughing matter.

 Thankfully, my mom was very clued into my feelings, God bless her. I’m not sure what triggered my anxiety as a kid. We moved a lot, so maybe that had something to do with it. To be honest, I was very blessed and had so much but….

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE OR HOW BLESSED YOU ARE. FEAR AND ANXIETY CAN ATTACK ANYONE!!

In fact, it seems, from my short experiences with anxious people, that often it’s those who have an abundance that struggle the most with anxiety. At any case, I really believe that with all my heart, fear can hit you at any time, stage or moment in your life. Regardless of how blessed you may be.

As I became a teenager, things seemed to calm down a little for me in the fear department. Don’t get me wrong, I still struggled, but I started to learn techniques to combat those moments of sheer terror. I learned to breathe, focus, call on the name of Jesus…all of these things worked and helped me move farther and farther away from a pattern of anxiety. Today, I rarely struggle with those paralyzing moments…and when they do hit me, I usually take some deep breaths, focus on what’s around me and remember that HE HAS IT ALL UNDER CONTROL. That’s the key, I think.

 I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about fear lately. You see, there have been some things recently, that I touched on here, that have caused me to stay up at nights with anxiety. Thankfully it’s not the kind of paralyzing anxiety that I struggled with as a kid, but this kind of anxiety leaves me talking to the Lord a lot. Asking Him “why” and “how” and “what” of about certain things in life. And I’m going to be honest, sometimes I get angry. Because it’s not easy to look down at the full picture and see God’s plan. It’s not. There’s a balance to it, you know. You have to somehow find a way to look through things that might shake you and see the good….see the GOD in it. See HIS plan, not YOURS.

See, sometimes, when you follow HIM…the path isn’t always very clear. And just when you, so full of faith, hop on that path He may have for you, suddenly the path may seem very cloudy {especially when you look around you and it seems the world is falling apart}. And you look back at the other paths you could have taken and they look so sunny, and you suddenly wonder…WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?! …is any of this making any sense to you?

So I’ve been fighting. I’ve been fighting the anxiety with faith. With thankfulness. With peeling back the fog on my path and forcing my eyes to see the sun. Because it’s THERE. It really is. We walk these roads by faith. But I’m going to be honest, it’s not easy. If these roads were meant to be easy, then more than likely it wouldn’t be called a road of faith.

 I’m not sure how it happened, but two weeks ago I stumbled across Proverbs 31 online devotional journey with Melissa Taylor and I realized I still had time to join before it started. The book they were studying was The Stressed-Less Living. Ok, sounded good right? I hopped over to her blog and read the scripture that went with the first week….

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with My victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NLT

 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. As I continued to read it, I realized that all the fear and all the anxiety of late was just God’s way of reminding me that I have forgotten… HE IS HERE. He is taking care of it, and all I have to do is hand it over to Him.

Please remember friends. God is with you. I promise, He is. I know sometimes it’s so hard to see it. Do your best to believe that beyond the cloudy, dark and scary nights, there is a sun that is breaking through, ready to shine.

Praying for Boston. Continually.

I love you all!

xoxo

Never Give Up

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Hello friends!

I’m not sure how many of you read this post, but I haven’t really been able to have an honest post since it….mainly because honesty is sometimes hard to process, if you know what I mean, so usually not something you want to blurt out all the time. And confessing disappointments, whether it be in life, in love or even in faith, is even harder. But lately, I’ve really been thinking about something… I’ve been thinking about the boxing gloves I put on, and how I’m fighting in this life, as I hope you all are. And as I make my way through the good and the bad moments of my week {because there is always good and bad}, I find myself mentally telling myself over and over…

Never Give Up.

I’m a huge pray throughout the day person. I whisper things while I’m working {I’m sure anyone who hears me thinks I’m nuts}, I pray while doing the dishes, I pray while in the shower, combing my hair, getting dressed…I really pray a lot. I feel it lifts my spirit and helps me make it through the day. But one place I pray probably the most is in my car. Usually because, {miraculously} my kids are somewhat quiet in there when I turn the music on…so I often blast worship music, which they love, thank God.

One of my favorites is this one…when it comes on the radio, I get instant tears. I’ll blast this puppy as loud as the kids will let me…and even if they start to get crazy and scream at each other I ignore it while I belt out the words at top volume.

I know, I’m insane, and I’m sure the passing cars think so too. ha. 

But you know, the other day when I was singing the words, I kept thinking about how God’s love NEVER FAILS. It NEVER GIVES UP. And I thought, WOW! If His love doesn’t give up, if He knows where I am at all times, and He BELIEVES in me…then why should I give up?!?

So I guess my point is this: Don’t give up. Because He doesn’t give up on you. Ever. If you are going through something in life right now that you feel has you down, keep your head up high. He loves you and that’s good enough to get you through life.

So don’t give up friends. Because He hasn’t. 

xoxo

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FYI….25% off all sale items {HERE} with code GOTTOGO. xoxo

Disappointments

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I’ve had a few disappointments lately. I thought, since I haven’t really had a “heart post” lately, I’d tell you about them. Or not really ABOUT them, per se, since they are very personal, but about how I am feeling about them, I guess.

You know, I am normally very open and honest on this blog. Very transparent. No, I don’t tell you everything, but I don’t hide from much either. And sure there are times when I probably make things sound like they are ok, but they really aren’t…because who really wants to hear a person’s junk all the time? Lately I’ve been questioning the point of really telling you how I feel. For many reasons, I guess. Recently, twice in the same week I had people on social media criticize me for “complaining”. One even said, “I can think of worse things”. Hmm. So could I. But those worse things aren’t happening to me. THIS is. And this is hard. It hurts. And yes, I’m not stupid. I understand there could be A LOT worse things. A gazillion worse things. But let’s be honest…disappointment is disappointment. No matter what the magnitude. And it hurts, big or little.

So I’m leery of sharing.

Since I haven’t been sharing too much about feelings, I’ve filled the gap with food, shop and house posts. BUT….the last couple days the Lord has dealt with me about this.  Because this blog isn’t really about my house, or my business, or my food…it’s about LIFE. And life stinks sometimes. It does. It really, really stinks. Life is good the majority of the time. And we’re all VERY good about telling about the good, right? We show off our new homes, our new cars, our new clothes. We brag about our beautiful kids {oh my word, I adore my kids, I could go on and on}. We tell about all our blessings…and we SHOULD. Because blessings are fun, and exciting and a testimony of God’s love. But the stinky part of life…well, it’s hard to talk about.

One thing I have noticed is this…when you are going through a hard time, it is SO HARD to rejoice with them who rejoice. Sometimes, instead of clapping your hands, smiling and congratulating, you want to turn your nose up in disgust and walk away because your blessing is no where to be found. Let’s talk about this…it’s truth, am I right?

And sometimes, it’s really easy to look at someone else who seemingly has an “easy” problem, shake your head at them, roll your eyes, and say, “it could be worse”. I know. Because I’ve done it. Many times in fact. To people I love. I get it.

So what’s my point….

Well, I’ve had some disappointments the last couple weeks. I’m not going to tell you too much about them, because I try not to dwell on things that I know God can change…but there have been some big things that I have sat down and said, “WHY GOD?!? I thought you promised me this?” And there has been a lot of questioning…of me, my family, my purpose. Everything. Questioning where I am, what I’m doing. Questioning.

Like Job.

And then it hit me. We are going to question. We are going to wonder why. We are going to  feel moments of disappointment. On both big and small scales. But I want you and the whole world to hear me shout:

I AM STILL HERE. 

I’m putting on my boxing gloves and I’m going to do this. Because disappointment doesn’t have to be crippling. It can be empowering. It can fuel the fight. So even though I look back and wish I hadn’t done this, or I had done that…it doesn’t matter. Because I’m HERE and I’m not backing down. I’ve got God on my side and I will finish this race. Family problems, money problems, job issues, kid issues, health issues, LIFE issues….it doesn’t matter. Disappointment in all those areas may come, but I’ve got my gloves on. And I’m fighting. I hope you are too.

And just a little 411…you may hear me “complain” on this blog. But let me make this perfectly clear and set the record straight… VENTING is not always COMPLAINING. Complaining is laying down and thinking there is no way up. Venting is getting your frustration off your chest and then rising to the occasion. So I’m not sure where you place yourself here, but I place myself in the venting category. Because, I personally feel, we all need to do it, perhaps not publicly like I am doing…but this blog is a place where I feel God has opened a door for me to reach out to those of you who are feeling frustrated too. With that said, I also feel God has called me to share HOPE. And that’s what I will keep doing. I will keep sharing my venting {minimally of course} and most of all…sharing HOPE. Because we have it. Yes we do. In the words of Toby Mac…

“We lose our way,
We get back up again
It’s never too late to get back up again,
One day you will shine again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever,
Lose our way,
We get back up again,
So get up, get up,
You gonna shine again,
Never too late to get back up again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever”

{HERE}

Love you friends. I’m praying for you. Psalm 102 has been what I am meditating on. Amazing and powerful. Take time to read if you are feeling some disappointments. “You will arise and have compassion….” {vs 13}. POWERFUL.

xoxo

Oh PS. Did you see this?

Zero Stickers

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So let me ramble here for a second…. a couple nights ago, I spent several hours looking through old pictures. It’s quite scary, actually, to see yourself many moons ago….so weird how you change over time. Actually very weird. I’ve always been one to worry about my weight. Always. But looking back at those pictures, I wanted to reach my hands through the old copies and wring my skinny little neck. What in the world was I thinking? Even after having Evy, I was still pretty little.

Me and Evy with our dear friend {and Evy’s Tree model} Kate. 

And here’s me after I had Jake. Can we say TINY? Brandon and I goofing off at a restaurant mirror.

So I keep thinking about how over the last couple years I have complained about my figure so very much. And boy, do I feel ashamed now. Especailly since I am now at least 10 lbs over what I have ever been. I think the moral of the story is this: it’s so easy to look down on yourself, but learn to love yourself at every stage in your life. Because you never know…things could be WAY worse.

Dear 25 year old Amy, at 36, I can show you NEED TO DIET. Stop complaining.

So with that thought off my mind, let’s talk about Jake for a second. Part of his ADHD 504 plan classroom modifications is to break the day up into small parts and work towards success in each individual area. Since ADHDers have a hard time working on long term goals, his modification plan is full of short term goals to encourage excitement with his learning. His day is split up in three blocks and he is assessed accordingly. His behavior is monitored three times a day, and he gets a sticker on his take home paper for each block that he accomplishes his main behavior goals: sit quietly, doesn’t distract others, and raises his hand to speak {just saying these three goals makes me giggle as if you know him, these are HARD things for him to do! ha}.

Since implementing the plan, he has always gotten at least one sticker. But yesterday his take home paper came home looking like this:

Zero stickers. Awesome right? ugh. Before we got Jake diagnosed, a good friend of mine who also has an ADHD boy told me, “Living with ADHD is REALLY, REALLY hard. I don’t care what anyone tells you, it very difficult.” I remember thinking that it couldn’t be THAT bad.

But it is. It really, really is.

It’s very hard to have to make special modifications for your child that you love so much. It’s so very hard to see that is he is JUST NOT capable of behaving like everyone else, no matter how hard I try to help him. My friend was right, living with ADHD is extremely hard.

Yesterday when he came home with zero stickers, Jake and I had a chat about his day. Thankfully, he is still really young and doesn’t understand that his behavior is extremely annoying. {ha}. And thankfully, our school is so wonderful that being sent to the office isn’t always a bad thing, just a support. Our principals are awesome and always positively redirect Jake, so that’s helpful. But as a mom, hearing your kindergarten student was sent to the office prompts visions in my mind of my future high school student practically living there, if he continues at this rate. Honestly? It’s enough to make me want to lay down and have a good cry. Yup. it does. Go ahead and judge, but it’s the truth.

The last couple days I have felt the Lord nudge me to read about Elijah. And this portion of scripture jumped out at me:

 ’Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.’ I Kings 19:3-5

Dear Elijah: I love you. If you read the entire context of this scripture, you will read about how before this laying down and dying incident, Elijah has the miraculous show down with the 400 prophets of Baal…where God hears Elijah’s prayers and sends fire down to devour Elijah’s offering, all while the 400 prophets of Baal’s offering sits untouched. You see how God delivers the people out of drought through Elijah’s prophecies. You see miracles, signs and wonders coming from Elijah…but at this point, Jezebel threatens him, saying she will kill him. He is alone. He is the last prophet left. And he is frustrated. And he runs.

Thank you Elijah. Because now I know, it’s not just me that feels like doing that from time to time. Dear readers, I’m not stupid…I know what it may look like over here. Social media puts such a deceiving twist on people’s lives. Things look WAY better than they really are. But the reality is I often feel like Elijah {probably more often than not}. Like last night when I got Jake’s take home paper back. Or when I step on the scale in the morning. Or when I get a business situation that I have no idea how to deal with. I feel like Elijah. The thoughts that go through my mind sound like this:

Parenting is too hard

Marriage is so tough

Manufacturing is way too difficult, I should quit

Living for God is not easy

I want to quit.

If you have some time, read through Elijah’s story in 1 Kings, it will really encourage you. My favorite part is when he spends 40 days walking up the mountain to where God is. And when he gets there, the Lord says to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”. HA. I love it.

After Elijah complains to Him how faithful he’s been but now he’s about to be killed, God sends him back. But not without showing Elijah His power through the wind, the earthquake and the fire. And not without telling him that He had seven thousand people who had not turned to Baal. He was not really alone.

Here’s the reality of the situation: when you are on the Lord’s team… NOTHING MATTERS.  It doesn’t matter how down you feel about yourself. How much you question your purpose, or how often you feel like quitting. Because even when I go to Him feeling like laying down and throwing in the towel…He is still there asking me, “Why are you here?”. I love that. Because He sees the end of the story and knows it will be exactly how it’s supposed to be and how HE planned it….success, regardless of how we feel about it. And everything really will be alright. Just ask Elijah.

Nothing is too hard for God. Ever. {Even zero stickers.} And for that I am so very thankful.

Big hugs friends. xoxo

Sometimes There Are No Words….

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…to describe your feelings. That’s kinda how I feel right now. So many thoughts swirling around in my head. Especially around this holiday season. I found myself moved to tears so many times these past couple weeks, and it all began the moment I found out about the shooting in Newton. The shock, the awe…the complete inability to fathom what happened. During the days following, I was so shook up that as I walked around town and saw everyone going on as nothing happened, I wondered how people could move on so easily? Maybe it’s because I’m an elementary school teacher and the scenes seem so real in my mind, or maybe because I’m a mom who has kids the same age as those shot…I don’t know, I can’t say for sure, but regardless, this tragedy has put a whole new spin on things in my life. It has made me think more about who I am, what I am doing and where I am going. It’s made me think more about my kids…am I really giving them my all? Because they could be gone tomorrow. And thanks to this realization, this holiday season held a whole new meaning for me.

This post really started out as my holiday recap, but as I sat down to write, I realized I couldn’t move on without acknowledging what made this holiday season seem more real to me. Newtown definitely did that. It made me think. And I will be forever changed because of it. It has sincerely shook me to the core. Have you seen this?

These beautiful prints were jointly created by friends of this blog and can be purchased HERE . The proceeds go directly to Newton {Hurry, it looks like you only have one day left to purchase!}. I bought nearly every print and will be hanging them in the hallway that leads to the kids rooms. I don’t want to ever forget how blessed I am to have my little ones, and I hope and pray that these help me remember…to love my kids with all my heart and to always pray for those who lost their babies way too soon.

With these thoughts in mind, I gave Christmas a hard look this year. I also started thinking more about the new year and I actually sat down and started thinking about making a New Years Resolution this year. Normally I don’t make any commitments of any kind on New Years, mainly because I am HORRIBLE at keeping them {ha}, but this year, I feel propelled to do one. Maybe it’s the Newtown situation or maybe it’s simply the Lord guiding me, but either way…

In 2013 I am going to strive to live simpler.

To live simpler in my life looks like getting my finances in better shape and living to give instead of receiving. It means to say no more often and yes to things that really matter. It means not complicating life with extra “to dos”. It means embracing my family to the fullest and not wish for something different. It means contentment.

“…for I have learned, whatsoever state I am in, to be content.” Philippians 4:11

All of this will be starting this coming week. I am cleaning out my studio to do inventory, so it is the perfect time to re-evaluate things I have. I am pouring over our finances for tax papers, so it’s the perfect time to cut out the fat. And the kids are off of school, so it’s the perfect time to enjoy them to fullest.

Friends, I mean this with all my heart, I pray for you. I really, really do. Sometimes {like today} when I write a blog post, I pray for you while I’m writing. I want you to know that I love you and you are in my thoughts and prayers. So I have a request for you….will you pray for the Miraflor family? Pray that while we continue doing what God has asked us to do, that we do it simply. I’m praying the same for you.

Love you friends…so tell me, do you have a New Year’s Resolution?

xoxo

Not At The Dinner Table

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I grew up hearing that you shouldn’t talk about two things in public: Religion and Politics. Especially at the dinner table. It was considered rude and disrespectful to the dinner host. Well, I suppose that’s what stops me from talking about both of those things on this blog. That, and the fact that I don’t feel educated enough {although I probably am} on either of those subjects, especially politics, to dive into a virtual debate with someone.

But you talk about faith all the time on this blog, you might ask me…. Yes, yes I do. You see, my opinion is that faith is NOT religion. Faith is universal, religion is personal. Religion is the in and outs, the convictions, the Biblical interpretations…that’s religion in my mind. Though I share my faith in Christ and my belief in His everlasting power, I definitely shy away from telling you about my personal convictions mainly because they are, well…personal. And unique to me. What I feel personally convicted on how to carry out religion with my family is MINE and I will keep it MINE.

So politics, well…I feel the same way. Regardless of my personal opinions on the candidates, did you know we are SO BLESSED? Seriously. We live in the greatest country ever. You can debate with me on that if you’d like, but I’d like to see you jump on a plane and move somewhere else. You probably won’t. We are lucky, people. And regardless of the way our politics go, remember this….every leader has a cap. And then we start over. We have a fresh chance. And thank God for that!

So today, as so many on facebook, twitter and other social media outlets are complaining or jumping for joy, I trust in a greater and unseen hand. And I will stay confident in the American Dream. Because let me tell you...THIS IS A DREAM! People die for this. They really, truly believe in it. And I believe in it….it’s real. My mom’s parents believed enough in it that they moved all the way from England for it. My dad’s parents built a successful business on it. And so did my Dad and Mom.

And so will I. 

But you know, I will say this about the election…this one really made me think. It made me realize that I need to educate myself a little better. It reminded me that times are changing. I have always relied on my sweet Dad to come over weeks before the election with a voters guide, tell me to read it and make a decision on the issues presented and then proceed to follow up with annoying remember to vote phone calls leading up to the day. And then, after all that, he expected us to sit around the TV the night of the election and be glued to it for hours. But this year, since it was our anniversary, Brandon and I found a nice al fresco dining table at a Mexican restaurant and watched NBC via our phones while we ate {which is a total oxymoron as we’re discussing politics at the dinner table, right? ha}…

…While my parents sat at home watching the election…just like always.

And it hit me.

My Dad is 77 years old. There are not many more elections in his future. And now, thanks to the Parkinsons, he’s slowing down and doesn’t really have the energy to worry about politics like he used to.

It is up to me. It is up to us. At the ripe old age of 36, I am finally grasping this {don’t judge, ha}. This isn’t our parent’s American anymore…it’s OURS. And we need to make sure we do our part to keep it great. Please don’t give up on the dream people! It’s all we as Americans have.

So may God bless America…and may God bless us as we navigate the waters in making the best choices for us as families and for us as a nation.

Big hugs friends. xoxo

**Tonight at 6 PM PST I am loading a bunch of items into the shop. Use the discount code ELECTIONDAY to get 30% off everything in the shop. And yes, we have some new items!! Stay tuned to facebook and twitter for more info on the new items!

31 Days: Trust

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Just so you aren’t confused…the post that many of you probably read this morning, was for yesterday. BUT since I typed it yesterday {ok, very, very late yesterday}, I felt it would be best, especially since I have missed several days, if I did a 31 days for today. Besides, I have something on my heart that I want to write on so you’re going to get it whether I call it “31 Days” or not. ha. I know, you’re so excited. You can stop jumping up and down. :)

** Diana Wraps are now listed HERE. Please remember that only the charcoal black wrap is being offered in the giveaway, so if you want one of the colors, snag them before they are gone! :) **

To be honest {I really hate when I say that. I am way too honest, way too much!}, I have so much I want to share with you. I should really just sit down and write a bunch of posts, schedule them and be done with it, but there are two problems with that:

1. I feel that might not make this authentic, I want you to know what I am thankful for TODAY…right NOW. You know? 

2. Who has time for that?!? ha. 

So today I am going to verbally vomit for a second. I have been told that I need to ask permission before I vomit, so….

Do you mind if I verbally vomit for a second? No? Well, thanks! :)

So this week I kinda had a moment where I really questioned God. Have you ever had those? If you have followed this blog over the last year, you know that our family made some major changes to our life. And we did going purely on “faith”. On “trust”. Brandon stepped down from a wonderful position as a youth pastor and moved into full time evangelism. That translates to…

Stability —-> No Stability

Or we could say it like this:

Steady paycheck —–> No Steady Paycheck

OR if you want to get really technical you could say:

Routine —–> NO Routine

I think out of those three comparisons I just listed, the routine one is hardest one for me to swallow at the moment. Stability comes and goes. Money is never enough… it comes and goes and God seems to always take care of us. But because I am naturally drawn to routine, well, the lack of it around is killer.

This morning, my kiddos did what they do most morning…what has become routine for them. They stumble into our room after they hear my alarm go off, walk up to my bedside, peer over me and ask, “Is Daddy home yet?” Since he typically takes a 6 am flight out of SFO to most places, he usually leaves our house at 3 am to catch that flight. And since he usually tries to stay as late as possible without adding on extra days to his trip, he normally gets home in the middle of the night. So if you tell the kids, “Daddy will be home tomorrow”, they usually think when they wake up in the morning he will be there, which is not always the case.

It’s a hard reality for them.

This morning, when they said that, my heart wanted to break. See, we are REALLY, TRULY, stepping out on faith here. We went from having Brandon with us almost all the time to him being gone a lot. It’s very hard on the kids. Thankfully, they seem to be adjusting, but the first couple days of any trip he takes are pretty rough. This morning when I dropped Evy off at school, she said to her teacher, “Daddy is coming home today!”

My heart burst.

Let me honest friends, this isn’t perhaps the easiest route for us to take. No amount of beautiful home, lovely living environment, great family surroundings can make up for it. Then why do you do it, you ask? Well, we feel this is where God has placed us for the moment. And regardless of whatever job situation God puts in our path, we just don’t feel that it’s what is right for us NOW. Not that it wouldn’t be in the future, it’s just that we don’t feel a release.

Without making you think I am complaining {because believe me, I am SO THANKFUL for all of you who have my husband minister at your churches. I love and appreciate you all so much. You think he is blessing you, but by having him speak, you are blessing us}, I got kinda mad this week. I told the Lord, “I’m done God. This is too hard.” I cried. I admit it. Superwoman I am not. I told the Lord that I wished we were “normal” and “not in the ministry”. I’m sorry if this is too much information for you, but it is what it is. I told Him that I wish Brandon just had a regular job where we could put roots down and not worry about where God is going to call us or place us or tell us to go next. I want to have some stability, job security, assurance that my family will be in one place for a while. I admitted that I was scared and I really let Him have it regarding my thoughts. Sad, I know.

But then I started thinking…you know, who am I kidding? Even if we had a “regular job”, NOTHING is EVER secure. EVER. God always has His way. Even when you don’t realize it. Working a regular job doesn’t mean it’s secure, or “for sure”. Job security is a very foreign concept now a days. And not to mention, God could decide He wants you move to Timbuktu and wahlah…you could lose your job and/or be transferred. We ALL, regardless if we are in the ministry or not, need to be trusting that God has our best interest in mind and that He will do what is best for us. When a door shuts, He ALWAYS has a another one open!

TRUST. It’s what being a Christian…NOT just a preacher {or a preacher’s wife}, is all about. You trust daily. With your family, your life, your career. You TRUST. Because things are not for sure. EVER.

I have spent the last couple days telling the Lord I trust Him. I believe in Him. I know that He knows what is best for us. Remember our move? Or how about the amazing Evy’s Tree success? Or how about the fact that we are able to put food on our table still?? He hasn’t forgotten us. Ever.

Please forgive me for being honest and I hope that I’m not speaking too plainly. But I felt to share this, because I do feel there are probably many other wives out there, whether ministers wives or not, that feel like I did this week…stuck, abandoned, scared. I want to tell you something I felt the Lord tell me in that moment…

IT’S OK. It’s ok to feel lost, abandoned, scared. He understands that. All throughout scripture we see many men of God feel like way. Abraham, Moses, David, Peter, Paul. It’s common. But what I love about our God is that He doesn’t walk away…but He loves. And because He LOVES,  I TRUST.

So today I am thankful for the ability to trust. Because trusting takes away so much fear and doubt. It automatically erases the ability to be scared. Regardless of what place you are in life, when you trust, you know that it will all work out. And today I am thankful for that.

I love you Lord. I trust that you know what you are doing for the Miraflor family. I pray that you guide us and give us wisdom for the future. Especially now with my kids. Give me the wisdom to parent them on my own sometimes. Thank you for what you have done in our lives. And I pray for my friends who are reading along….help them to trust. I know you also have THEIR best interest in mind.

Love you friends. xoxo

“Trust in the Lord with thine whole heart, and lean not upon thine own understanding. In all thy way acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

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In case you are wondering what’s going on here, I am joining up with The Nester and her 31 Day Challenge. I am challenging myself to write about Thankfulness for 31 days…every day be thankful for something, even if it’s little. A way to force me to look at the positive so to speak…if you want to see all the 31 day posts I do, click HERE.

Save Evy’s Tree: The End Is Near

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Well everyone, one week left. YIKES!

So, how are we doing? Honestly, not much different than when I posted last week. At that point we were about 50% of the way there. Today we are at about 53% of the way there. So not a huge amount of progress.

Let’s be honest…am I going to make 100%?? Not to be a Debbie Downer, but I can’t say positively that we will. Don’t get me wrong, I believe God can do anything, but sometimes you have to be realistic. When I first started out on the Save Evy’s Tree trail, I had a minimum and a maximum amount that I needed in order to proceed successfully with Evy’s Tree. The 100% goal, obviously, was the maximum amount. The minimum amount would allow me to cautiously proceed…I would still be able to make a manufacture order, however, a bit smaller than what I had planned, but an order just the same that would enable Evy’s Tree to continue to grow.

 In order to reach this minimum I would need a small miracle in one week: 350 items would need to sold. I had mentioned before that I wasn’t going to give you a number of hoodies left to sell due to the fact that this number is just an average amount that may or may not match up with the final number I need in the end {remember…any tee shirts, scrap boxes, etc, help me reach this goal and change the amount of items need to sell}, but I have had so many people tell me it helped them to know an actual number we need to reach, so there it is. Hopefully that helps some of you. :)

So here’s where I need your help…so many of you have already jumped on board and bought something. THANK YOU!! You guys are really, truly amazing. I can’t express how thankful I am to you all. SO SO THANKFUL. I was telling my friends and family that if Evy’s Tree succeeds…it will most definitely be because of you all. I love you.

So where to go from here:

1. The shop will close on Friday, July 6 at 11 PM PST. I will close indefinitely while I figure out the financial side of Evy’s Tree and take some time to pray about the future of Evy’s Tree with my family.

2. We will take preorders until that last day. Please remember that preorders have a 4 week turnaround before they ship. That will be the same amount time even if you order on the last day.

3. #saveevystree on Instagram and twitter. I’m hoping that you all can bombard twitter and instagram with the hashtag “saveevystree” and tell your friends about our shop. If you love our items, let them know! Take pictures of your items and share them!

4. Tee Shirts. Tomorrow morning {Friday, June 29} at 10 AM PST, I will be listing the new tees. Here are a couple previews:

The tees and tanks will be $19.95 + shipping. Here’s where I have a huge favor to ask of you….if you can’t afford a hoodie, could you buy a tee? I keep thinking that it would be so awesome if we had hundreds of Evy’s Tree tees out there! We will have both adult and kids and in many colors.

5. PLEASE PLEASE PRAY. Here’s where the rubber meets the road. I am begging you, please pray for Evy’s Tree. Please. I need it and that’s the bottom line. I have to be honest: I am tired and can’t really see which way is up at the moment. I really need to know what God wants for this business. Here’s the thing, I do believe that if this business is supposed to succeed, it will. Because that is just how God rolls. But where the prayer comes in is for the human side of it: me…for direction, peace, clarity. Thank you friends. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.

I hate to sound like I am begging, but I guess I am. ugh. 350 items is a big number. Really, really big. But I have a big God. Oh and I have great customers. ha. Want to shop? Click HERE. I add a bunch of new things too, FYI… :)

I love you guys. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

#saveevystree!!!!

xoxo

PS. Klove’s encouraging word today made me cry, guess I just needed to remember who holds a cattle on a thousand hills and knows my every thought and need. “This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” Ps 118:24

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