I’ve mentioned it before, but I moved around a lot as a kid. Most of the time it was in the same town, however, during my early childhood and primary education years, we moved from city to city a couple times. My Dad is a developer. Which means that when he builds something, its for profit only, not for sentimental reasons, which is why every home we ever lived in was inhabited by us for only a couple years.

It was hard.

I remember seeing all my friends who lived in the SAME house ALL their, what seemed to me, very long lives and here I was, only 8 years old and on our 5th home. I don’t know why this bothered me, but it did. Silly, really, since my parents always have gorgeous homes and every one we lived in was beautiful…but true to my character I cared less about beauty and more about sentiment. So it affected me at the time.

When I was in 3rd grade, we moved to Santa Rosa. I was so nervous. This was the 4th school I had gone to throughout my lifetime and I really worried I wouldn’t have any friends. And to be honest, I probably had reason to worry. Santa Rosa was {still is} a small town and most of the people at my new private school had been going to school together since Pre-K…their parents knew each other, their grandparents knew it each other, most of them went to the same church…it was a closed knit circle. I will never forget that the teacher allowed me to bring my cabbage patch doll to the first day of school, and I clutched the life out of that thing. I think I must have had a melt down on the second day when my parents informed I could not take it back. ha.

To make things even more interesting, my parents are not gigantic social bugs. My dad is an EXTREME introvert and would much rather be in his garage working on his cars than sitting and having coffee with the parents of his kids school mates. My mom is very social and made sure she tried to connect with other moms, but thanks to my dad’s shy behavior, they didn’t have people over much. Our next door neighbors were my parents closest friends…thankfully the dad was a commercial airline pilot like my dad once was so they had a lot in common and the mom and my mom hit it off. They were over at least once a week and vice a versa.

It took me some time and courage to have friends over. My mom quoted Proverbs 18:24 to me CONSTANTLY: “A man who has friends must show himself friendly”. I took it to heart…but still, I knew my home life was different and I was self conscious about it. We lived on a gigantic piece of property with a tennis court, swimming pool and three houses. Never mind that this property was my dad’s JOB…when people saw it they flipped and for some strange reason it made the kids make fun of me. They automatically assumed that we were in a separate category of life. {NEVER judge a book by its cover, you have NO IDEA what is really going on behind the scenes} Now that I am older I see it for it is but at the time I took it very personally and became awkward, insecure and shy about it. I was trying so hard to be NORMAL, and it was killing me.

We moved once again my senior year of high school to another small private school and this time I wasn’t about to let my insecurities get the best of me. I was determined that this was it…my last year of high school and my only chance to really give this friendliness thing a shot. So I plastered on a smile every day, invited people over, talked to everyone and loved on the popular and the unpopular.

This time it worked. I made friends. Lots of them.

I learned a REALLY good lesson. The core of my lesson was BE KIND TO OTHERS. ALWAYS. I can’t emphasis this enough. There is NO ONE who isn’t worthy of our kindness. I mean come on people…we’re Christians here. We of all people should be kind. Who cares if you have different social economic backgrounds, or life style differences or personal preferences, or denominational differences…it doesn’t matter! Friendliness is important. Period.

I recently went to the amazing Snap conference in Utah. I went by myself {yes, I’ve come a long way, and no I didn’t take my cabbage patch doll, ha}…and I’m not going to lie, I was nervous about it. My friend Ashley texted me a couple weeks before and told me to make sure we connected, and then my friend Shari and I emailed back and forth, so I knew I would have someone to hang out with {as it turns out we were stuck like glue, ha}, and my friend Heather was going to be there too…but I was still a bit worried. But the moment I stepped foot off the plane and on the air porter van, I struck up an instant friendship with another girl there. FRIENDLINESS WORKS. It was like that most of the trip.

You know, I read a lot of blogs, and many of the blogs I read were represented at the Snap Conference. I met several of the people who I have communicated with over the last couple years via blogging. Most of the people were AWESOME and so stinking friendly. It was like we had never NOT known each other. But want the truth?

A COUPLE OF THEM WERE PLAIN RUDE. Yup.

I was shocked at some of the girls who blog these amazing blogs and seem so sweet and sincere. Uh, no. They were NOT NICE, AT ALL. God forgive me for saying this, but it’s true. Why did I feel that way? BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T THE LEAST BIT FRIENDLY. And many of these people I would call “blog friends”. I hope and pray I was not like this to other people trying to met me. Dear God, I hope.

So here’s my point: BE REAL. Be who you really are. If you are brat in real life, you will be found out someday. If you are kind, make sure you portray that. Want to know one of my biggest fears? That I will meet some of you in public and you find that I’m not kind, friendly or sincere. It’s my biggest fear. And it should be. Because I need to be who I am at all times, not just on this blog.

We recently moved back to Santa Rosa. I haven’t lived here for almost 10 years. Things have changed, but not that much. It’s still a small town. My kids are in the same school I went to, and I’m not going to lie, it was hard that Jake didn’t go to school there last year. The moms all knew each other already and many go to church together. I was faced with the same insecurities I had as a 3rd grader…except this time I was smarter. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by this, we just smiled, and tried to be friendly. Most of the moms were friendly back. Yay! My son fit in just fine and we are having all the moms and kids over for an end of the year play date next week. I’m a little nervous about it {confession, sorry moms of Jake’s playmates if you’re reading this, haha}, as we haven’t really had anyone over this year and you worry, you know? What if they don’t like me, or my home, or the way my kids interact, or blah, blah. But you know, who cares! I’m excited to connect with these sweet moms. I hope I can be friendly, even if they aren’t {which they are, thank God}. And I hope to teach my kids the same thing.

So I ask you, what is your friendliness score? Are you kind to others? Do you love with all your heart? Do you make new people feel welcomed? Do you open your home to those who are around you? When you talk to people, are you REALLY interested in their life, or do you act bored? Take account of yourself and hold yourself accountable to the image you present either online or in public. Make sure it’s the same. And remember TO BE A LIGHT. So many people are counting on you. Don’t let them down.

Let’s do this together friends…because I still have a long way to go. I pray we excel at this friendliness thing!! Big hugs. xoxo

The past several months, I have been thinking a lot about my parents and how they raised me. I think it has something to do with us living in Santa Rosa, which is where I grew up. It’s funny raising your kids in the same place where you were a kid. I have never thought about it much before, since up until now I have not had the privilege of living here in Santa Rosa. But now that I am back, my mind is constantly doing little flash backs to my childhood….And making me really think about how my parents raised me.

I was a lucky kid. Very, very lucky. My Dad worked very hard and made sure we had everything we needed. We lived in beautiful homes, impeccably furnished by my mom. My mom has amazing style {everyone who knows can attest to this!}, and we always looked like a million bucks, even if at the time I thought we looked ridiculous {my mom was famous for dressing us in matching clothing}. My mom is a gourmet cook, and would read cookbooks for fun…our meals were always ultra delicious. She read Tiffany’s Table Manners to us as kids and made sure we knew how use the fanciest of tableware, kept our elbows off the table, and cut our various meats and poultry properly. When it came time to have birthday parties, she threw them with class and flare…we had the best parties ever! But most importantly, she taught me how to love Jesus. With my whole heart. And not be ashamed of it. She made God’s word a priority in our lives and taught us to love it as much as she did.

Quite simply, my mom made sure, to the best of her ability, that we lived a wonderful life. She poured herself into us and gave us all she had. She was a sold out mother. And because of her love and devotion, I felt secure. Loved. And confident.

I have thought a lot about this over the the last couple months. Am I giving all I have to my kids?

My favorite picture of all time, taken on my 33rd birthday. Evy was 6 days old, Jake 2 1/2.

You know, I may never have as much resources to give as my mom had, but I will definitely do my best to give everything I have to my kiddos. I live the life I do because of them. I was recently asked by a business person what I wanted from my little business and I how envisioned it in the years to come. My answer was simply, “My kids come first. Whatever happens with this business must be able to mold itself around my children and come second. I never want this business to become so time consuming that I forget them. They are my first priority.” I was nervous to say it, but I was shocked, and happily surprised, when they smiled in response and nodded their head in agreement.

My mom with Jake on his first birthday and with Evy when she was a couple months old.

Kids, I vow to give you everything I have. You are my first priority. My world must stop when you need me. It must. Because I know, thanks to my mom, that being a loving, giving, and sacrificial mother is being the most powerful individual I could possibly be. When I give you my all, I simultaneously hand you confidence, security, and love. But most importantly, I hope I hand you faith. I hope I show you that when you put Jesus first in all that you do and combine that with the powerful motherly love I offer, you can do ANYTHING.

Never forget that.

Thank you Lord for making me a mother. I adore this job. These kids are amazing. Simply, 100% amazing. And it blows my mind that You have gave them to me to watch and guide through this life. Thank you.

My babies Christmas 2009. Were they really that small once??

And lastly, thank you Mom {and Dad} for raising me as you did. You gave me the best of everything and my kids will benefit from it. Thank you for moving to Santa Rosa so we could have a better life, away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Thank you for staying here, so that God could bring me back here as well and allow my children to have a similar upbringing. They are blessed. I love you Mom {and Dad, too}. Happy Mother’s day!!

xoxo

Happy Mother’s Day dear friends!!

Don’t you love my title? I entitled it this because I’m going to complain for a second and I absolutely HATE complaining. I mean HATE it. Ask my poor husband. If he for one second starts complaining about something I give him the stink eye and very bad vibes can fill the room. ha. Don’t get me wrong, not that I don’t complain, because God knows I can, but for some reason when I hear complaining it’s like nails on a chalkboard to me and drives me INSANE.

So with that introduction here comes some complaining. Sorry everyone. Please forgive me in advance.

So tomorrow is my birthday. Yes it is. More info on that later but let’s just get this out up front, I’m not the least bit depressed about my birthday or growing older. Very comfortable and happy with my age, so don’t get ahead of yourself and think I’m depressed over my birthday. ha.

What I am depressed over is this

This is my baby girl. Last night just as we were walking out for church she started complaining that her tummy hurt…took her temp and sure enough 102! ugh. So we bundled up and she fell asleep pretty early, only to wake up at midnight throwing up. She slept restlessly the rest of the night {in our bed} with every hour adding in a little vomit. Fun right?

Poor baby. I love her so much, it breaks my heart when she is so sick.

Because of her being sick, I had to cancel a very important Evy’s Tree business meeting in Oakland that was scheduled for today. And on top of it all I have a very nasty cold, or allergy or SOMETHING and it’s very annoying and my head is foggy.

We spent the entire morning with Evy groaning on the couch, rubbing her back, snuggling, etc. Finally, after I dosed her up with ibuprofen, she fell asleep and woke up feeling much better, thank God.

But just before dinner, the fever came back and even a little vomiting on top of it. And then just before I put the kids down for bed, I noticed Jake looked a bit peaked and I took his temp…99. ugh. Hopefully its just him being hot from running around and not really a fever.

So why does all this matter…. WELL….

First, tomorrow is Muffins for Moms. Ever since I got the save the date back in January, I have been so excited that I get to go to Jake’s class and eat muffins on my birthday. It made me really, really happy. What a great gift! When I told Jake that if he still had a fever in the morning we could go, he started crying. Apparently he’s excited too. I’m not going to lie and say that tears didn’t build up in my eyes too. Major bummer, you know.

And then, my business meeting I had to cancel today? Well, I had to reschedule it for tomorrow after the muffin time. Kinda bummed about that. And the evening out Brandon had planned for me? Well, he is in the middle of deadline for something he is working on and we might have to do our evening out on Saturday.

Really none of this is a big deal, I know. But remember this? I’m beginning to wonder what in the world the Lord is trying to tell me. Probably to not plan my days and to be thankful with what I have. Or to love life regardless of what comes my way. Or to just ACCEPT that He knows what’s best for me.

But really…the selfish side of me just wants life to go a bit more smoothly, you know?

OH…and this baby boy. Well, tonight, as I was cuddling him to sleep, he looked me straight in the face and said:

“Mom, HOW does the baby get inside of the mommy’s tummy and HOW does it get out?!?”

Um. My answer? “That’s kind of a long subject and I’m really tired, can we talk about this tomorrow?”. Right.

So prayers for tomorrow would be appreciated. ha. And prayers for my attitude especially. Because I am smart enough to know that whatever happens will turn out being right in the end. And it doesn’t really matter what I think should happen, it matters how I deal with it, right?

Big hugs friends. Thanks for listening to me complain. I try to keep complaining to a minimum from here on out. ha

xoxo